Monday, March 28, 2016

Designing My Life


I LOVE sticky notes!  As I was digging through my desk, I found my heart sticky notes, and I was super delighted to pull them out and write an affirmation I have scribed all over my notebooks and journals.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE POWER TO DESIGN MY LIFE!

Today, I was contemplating about the massive amount of negativity currently barreling through our world, and right then and there, I resolved to regress back to my old ways, by rising above the doom and gloom.

We live on a planet, filled with beautiful and exquisite creatures, along with gigantic oceans and luscious forests.  Our world is filled with dazzling scenery and bewitching moments.  Us, as human beings, are magnificent souls who have the ability to transcend above the chaos, violence, and negativity of others.

We are surrounded by beauty, love, and greatness, and each and every one of us have the POWER to change our stars.

What do you choose today?

Sunday, March 13, 2016

I Don't Require Your Permission To Be Me

"You were born an original.  Don't die a copy." - John Mason

We have all heard the sayings.
  • "Be yourself."
  • "Be unique."
  • "Don't worry what others think of you."
  • "Be authentic."
  • "Don't be a copy of someone else."

Isn't it ironic, how much we LOVE to hear that we have permission to be ourselves, but as soon as someone see's who we truly are, they want us to tuck that personality back inside?

I have been struggling with this concept for thirty-nine years.  There are days, I could care less what people think or say about me, and there are other days, where I worry non-stop about others opinions.

Why is that?

Lack of confidence?  Maybe.

Four years ago, I abandoned the religion I was raised in, and I escaped a toxic marriage.  Afterwards, I discovered I was only liked by some, because of one or both of those aspects of my life.  Not only did I come to realize some of my friends were only accepting because of those choices, I had certain family members portray their true colors, as well.

I struggled with this realization.  My heart shattered, and I had no idea how to deal with the ache resonating from my core.  I searched for approval from others, and yearned for someone to say, I was still loveable, despite my difference of opinions and beliefs.  It was an extreme growth period for me.

Here is where I am at today... I am me.  If you don't like me, you have my permission to exit from my life.  It is that simple.

It took me over thirty years, to begin to practice self-love.  I do not have the time and energy to convince anyone else to love me.  This is where I stand, and I do it with my face to the wind, howling at the evening moon.

I live in a society where diversity is not its strong suit.  People talk the same, act the same, dress the same, and the judgments are abundant.  I grew up, afraid of my own shadow, because I had witnessed a copious amount of ridicule, bullying, and judgment from my peers.  As well, I was the second to youngest child out of seven children, and my siblings all acted like parents to me.  I became the quiet and timid child, and because of that I was bossed around by everyone in my life.

And the only person I have to blame for the creation of this control, is myself.  I allowed others to cross my boundaries and have that power over me.  Even as a small child, it was still on my shoulders to change my stars.

It was not until I left my parents home, and moved away from Utah, that I began to find my voice.  It was a slow process and took me many years after that, to create power and strength behind my voice.

If I could give any advice to my child self, it would be... "Love yourself first, find your voice, and don't take shit from anyone, including your family."

When I left my marriage, four years ago, I searched for approval from my family, and I did not receive it, for the most part.  Most of my family acted disappointed in my choice, and did not understand why I would leave someone who they all liked.  They talked behind my back, instead of speaking to me, and I became the subject of ridicule amongst people I had believed were my safe zone. It hurt.  But it only hurt because some where inside me, I was still that same, scared, little girl, who did not have a voice.

However, I did not back down.  I knew what was right for me, and I was sick and tired of being told what everyone else thought was best for me.

At thirty-five, I grew more than I had grown my entire life.  It took me thirty-five years to arrive to this place, but I did, and I am grateful for the ah-ha moment in my life.


I am here to empower others, and in the process, I will continue to love and empower myself.  

I am also here to remind people, I don't require your permission to be me.  No more scurrying off to the safety of the shadows, while others glare down at me with their judgments and ridicule.  No more cowering on the sidelines, waiting for the approval I have craved for since I was a small child.  If you don't like me, then by all means, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out of my life.

And if this bothers anyone, whether you know me or not, then maybe you require a long hard look at yourself.  Quit your judgments of others, just because they are not living the life you think is best.  What is best for you, is NOT best for others.

As well, I am not here to make you feel comfortable.  I am here to make you think and expand your understanding of others. 

I have made amends with most of my family, and for that I am grateful.  They were the ones who stood up and realized, they were being fooled.  The ones who chose to continue down that path, and turned their back on me, I wish them all the best in their life, and as of now I have no regret in leaving them in my past.  Where they belong.  They never really knew me anyway (queue Elsa from Frozen) ;)

Stumbling down the road of life is difficult enough.  Having naysayers on the sidelines, with nothing better to do with their time, except ridicule and gossip about others, does not make it any easier.  Cheers to the brave souls who are capable of putting on their blinders, and yanking on their thick skin, while remaining awesome on their life path.  Those are the people I admire and welcome into my life.

For those who are traveling down that dark path, and have been shunned because your life path has veered you away from the "norm", keep your chin up.  And I applaud you for your bravery :)

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Lincoln Cole - IndieAuthor Extraordinaire

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” -George Orwell

Today, I am thrilled to introduce a fellow author, who I believe has risen to a state of excellency, with his superb and marvelous writing skills.  Two of my favorite books consist of Second Chances and Ripples Through Time.  Lincoln Cole's words gripped me from the beginning, and I highly recommend his books!  Get to know this imaginative author, below.

1. How would you describe yourself?

I’m just a regular guy, neither lazier nor more productive than most!

2. If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why?

Chocolate mini-wheats because I am normal but I also bring some (awesome) stuff to the table!

3. What are you passionate about?

It depends on my mood. I like to argue and explain things, and I get passionate about anything from politics to social injustice to the best flavor of starbursts (Cherry, obviously). I try to tone it down.

4. What can you tell us about your current project?

I finished the first draft! It was rough getting through the last few chapters, and now I’m rewriting to make them good. It’s an angels and demons sort of novel, kind of like the Dresden files, and full of action and cool stuff! It’ll be called Raven’s Peak.

5. What are you doing in your life to influence the world and/or community?

That’s a tough one. I have basically two full-time jobs between writing and developing software, but I also like to do things to help other people. This makes me feel like I need to do more productive things to better the world.

6. If you could rewrite a part of your history, would you?

Nope.

7. Who do you admire and why?

Stephen King has always been my favorite writer because his style is so personal. It’s easy to relate to his characters. I also admire Obama because he’s able to weave through a myriad world of stupid politics and stupid people and still manage to remain a gentleman.

8. If you had one year to live, what would you do?

If I only had one year I’d probably be really sad! Travel sounds like the right answer, but I think I’d just want to spend time with my wife and family and the people who love me.

9. Snickers or Twix?  Why?

Snickers. This one doesn’t need a reason!

10. How do you define success and how do you measure up to your own definition?

Success is enjoying what you do. I’d say I’m at about eighty-percent. I enjoy what I do, but spending nine hours a day working is just too many. I think the work week should be thirty hours at most!

11. What are you biggest goals and dreams?

Write for movies or television shows.

12. What is stopping you from pursuing them?

I live in the wrong state, my work isn’t popular enough, it’s an incredibly competitive market, I only want to work on some shows, and no one has asked me to come do it!

13. What risk would you take, if you knew you could not fail?

If I knew I couldn’t fail: traveling to Mars.

14. Which Hogwarts house would you belong to?  Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Why?

Gryffindor. That one’s too easy.

15. What is your biggest strength?

I’m stubborn. Also a pretty big weakness.

16. What is your perception of the world?

It’s full of a lot of good people and bad situations. There are a lot of things out there that encourage selfishness and evil, but no one starts out as evil. Also, I think that there are going to be a lot of crazy shifts in the future as the world gets smaller and cultures clash more.

17. If you were the one survivor of a plane crash, on a tropical island, what would be the first thing you would do?

Look for the radio.

18. If you could change one thing, and one thing only, about the people of this world, what would it be?

Remove envy.

19. What are other books you have written?

UAV, which is a thriller about drones being used by mercenaries on American Soil, Ripples Through Time, which is about an old man whose wife just died trying to decide if he has a reason to go on, Graveyard of Empires, which is a science fiction space opera, and Schism, which is a collection of short stories about various topics.

20. Where can we connect with you?

http://www.LincolnCole.net

https://www.facebook.com/LincolnJCole

https://www.twitter.com/LincolnJCole

amazon.com/author/lincolncole.net