Monday, January 4, 2021

Meditation Monday Week One

It is the first Monday of 2021 and I am ready to start it off right.

Meditation has become a huge part of my life. Learning how to ground myself and clear my mind, while being still, has shifted me in ways no one else could understand. It is a private practice and every person will gain something different from it.

For me, I have discovered a calm within me that afterward I can take out into the hustle and bustle of the world. In doing so, I am able to pause during moments of chaos and re-center myself and refrain from hurling my own ugly thoughts onto others. Because those are mine and have nothing to do with the people around me and I recognize that, which is something I think we could all benefit from.

My goal is to become a certified meditation coach. I don't know if it will happen this year, but while I am working toward that moment, I want to start sharing my most favorite meditations. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

This one I listened to multiple times during my recovery from surgery. It guided my thoughts toward healing and every so often I use it again in my meditation practice.

As always, sending you all so much peace, love, and high vibes.


Saturday, January 2, 2021

Lucky Forty-Four Birthday

Another trip around the sun completed. Except this one feels different. Maybe it is because 2020 was ridiculously chaotic with a pandemic, earthquakes, riots, and an election year from hell. All my positivity is still alive and kickin', but even I am feeling the exhaustion from it all. I am ready to move on to a better 2021.

Who is with me on this one?

I have GIGANTIC goals and I cannot wait to start sharing them.

In February, the final book of my CHAOS AWAKENED SAGA will release and that will end the elemental's fight for survival. Have you checked out the series? If you have read any of the books, I would love a review on any platform, Amazon, Goodreads, iBooks, etc. Thank you, thank you, thank you!


There are plans to complete the audiobooks for the series as well and once that is done my readers will be the first to know!

From there, I have a new Urban Fantasy in the works and I am hoping to publish book one of six in July. Stay tuned for the preorder link and updates on that world soon!

Next, THEIA'S MOONS will most likely be rebranded. If I do not slap on new covers, I will at least be adding a FREE short story and combining the four full novels into a boxset.

And lastly, I am creating another personality, i.e. pen name! The first story written by my alter ego is already a work in process and I am working hard to begin releasing in August or September. New name means all new social media. I hope you will follow me over for Reverse Harem Supernatural, Angels and Demons stories! More on that later.

Deep breaths, Niki. You've got this.

On top of all that, my health is getting a reboot and we are completing a few projects around the house. So much has happened since January 2020, between DYI house projects, learning all I can about marketing and writing, and detoxing the toxins from my body, I have a wealth of information to share with all of you.

Until then, cheers! Sending you all peace, love, and high vibes!

Friday, January 1, 2021

When In Doubt... Dance It Out

January 1st, 2021...

I can hear the sigh of relief around the world. For good reason. 2020 was a turbulent year for most and we are all grateful to say adios to its grip on us.

This time last year I was flying into Las Vegas for mine and my partner's birthday bash vacation. We dined, played, and shopped for three days straight, then flew back home on the fifth of January. A woman sitting behind us coughed the entire hour and half flight and one week later we were both sick as dogs with bronchitis. And I had surgery scheduled for January 29th.

With the help of elderberry syrup, garlic supplements, and colloidal silver I beat my cough, severe body aches, and inability to breath within ten days.  Thank the Gods, I did not miss my surgery.

2020 Growth Mindset

Did I have Covid19?  Possibly. It is too late to determine that now, but since January 2020 I have not been sick. The only signs of illness was my three month post-surgery detox of silicone and heavy metals from my system (more info on earlier posts). It was ugly. My body does not do well with foreign objects. Number one lesson learned from 2020.

Number two lesson... I am not prepared for the calamity and terror of earthquakes. With the Utah 5.7 magnitude shake jolting me off the couch in the early morning of March 18th, I realized I had no idea how scary or destructive those suckers can be and I pray to all the Gods and Universe I will never have to experience one again. But just in case, I am more prepared if it happens again.

My third lesson for 2020... being a friend and reaching out to those I love is by far the most fulfilling. I have gained closer friendships, become more aware of the needs and wants of my loved ones, and have consciously shifted my awareness to see others for the soul I have known all along.

Fourth lesson... pausing works for me. My meditation practice became choppy for several months, but with the pause of life I learned better ways to tune into my inner knowing. It is intoxicating to connect with my higher power, the universe, God, Goddess, the angels... whatever title the world wants to place on that euphoric ascension. I will always be a work in process, but finally learning how to alchemize the energies that surround me into magic and positive vibes is by far my greatest leap in this life.

2021 Vision

My three words for 2021 are VISIONARY, ACHIEVEMENT, and ENERGETIC. If I were to add a fourth word, it would be FOCUS. I have gigantic goals to accomplish this year and it will require all four of those mindsets.

Writing books and blogging will be my main focus on the business side of my life for 2021. I have a list of stories I plan on publishing this year and into the next, and in order to achieve that milestone, my life will need to shift in a way I have never done before. Stay tuned for more on that later.

Family... my loved ones are always my number one priority and this year will be no different. Together we are climbing a mountain that at times appears impossible, but we know when we arrive at the top, the view will be breathtaking. Two Capricorns at the helm. We've got this.

My health is taking front seat, alongside the above. After nearly a year of detoxing and allowing my body to heal naturally, it is time to take the bull by the horns and lead myself into the best health ever. Today I begin with my second VITAMIN C FLUSH. Have you done one of these before? More to come on that one as well!

When In Doubt

Dance it out. Really. Do it.

Dancing is my magic and it can be yours too. No need to dance like no one is watching. Just dance. Alone, in front of your pets, outside, inside, with your family or friends, etc. If you feel confused, unsure of your next step, unable to move forward, whatever it may be, take a pause and dance. Turn the music up high, grab your partner, child, roommate and shake that booty. You will thank me later.

Until next time, my friends, I am sending you peace, love, and HIGH VIBES!

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Choosing Health - My Breast Implant Illness Journey

I feel like a new person. Especially after this past week. For years I have tried diet after diet to lose the weight that crept on slowly, pound after pound. And it was not stopping, no matter what I did. It was discouraging to say the least because I felt horrible, exhausted, and sick all the time.

Just over 10 weeks ago I had my breast implants removed and since then my body has slowly changed for the better. And then this past Sunday I cut out processed and refined sugars (did this several times when I had implants and it did not help). From there, I have literally watched my body rapidly change as if the weight is just melting off.

And all the health issues I have had for years, some of them beginning shortly after the augmentation, have begun dissipating ⤵️ 

▪️heart palpitations
▪️unable to take a deep breath
▪️extra weight
▪️metallic taste in mouth
▪️panic attacks
▪️anxiety (not gone, but much less)
▪️exhaustion from the moment I woke
▪️chest pains
▪️back pain
▪️numb face, neck, and hands

Those are some of the worst issues and they are either gone completely or are much less debilitating. Today I feel the best that I have felt in years and the one thing I have removed is those toxic bags. It is not a coincidence. God, I am so grateful for the Facebook groups that walked me through this, along with my wonderful sister πŸ’ž I am a different person then I was 3 months ago.

I am looking forward to the next decade's possibilities! Yes, even during isolation because I refuse to stop living after so many years of feeling like I was dying. Life can continue from the comfort of my home and yard and even then I can bring magic into the world πŸ₯°πŸ₯‚

Stay safe and healthy, my friends!

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Finding the Calm in this Storm

From the perspective of someone who believes in the Divine, but doesn't define it as a vengeful god judging us from the clouds, I am 100% on board with this.

As a collective, we are waking up to a higher frequency and way of thinking. Our reality is shifting. We have asked for our eyes to be opened and THAT is exciting. But how it is now appearing to us, was not expected. Coming from fear is natural and a human tendency that should not be shamed. This is real and it is frightening, especially since we feel we have no control. 

What has helped me to shift how I see our present circumstances is first by slowing down and researching information from the CDC and WHO, along with the doctors and nurses who are really seeing what is happening. Yes, even that can create fear, but knowledge is power and knowing WHAT we are facing and how to slow the spread can also be empowering. I refuse to listen to the media and the people who are forwarding unsourced information. 

My other source of calmness has been my personal connection to the Divine and staying tuned into that frequency through meditation, chanting, and prayer. Years ago I turned my back on all belief in a higher power and I felt the bitterness consuming my heart, but when I discovered my own connection has nothing to do with religion or anyone else's beliefs, I was able to build up a spiritual foundation that was all my own. I have not looked back since and my connection is stronger then ever. It has also been my solid strength during this time of uncertainty.

And then, dancingπŸ’ƒ let the endorphins flood through me!

Take a breath. Slow down. Listen to what our Source is communicating to us. This won't be easy and when we are on the other end, the new normal will not be what it was before. But we have this. We can choose how we react and that my friends, is our power in these trying times.

I'm sending my love to all of the world. Blessed be, my friends πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ§˜‍♀️

Sunday, October 27, 2019

The Wait is Agonizing

Yesterday morning I stood in front of mirror and talked myself of a ledge.

I woke up exhausted and absolutely miserable.

But that's usually how it goes on the days and weeks during my flare-ups.

This one is probably the worst one I have had. They are coming more frequently and giving me less time in between for relief. This one... this round is now on day six.

My stomach, face, and hands are inflamed. Photo for evidence. Maybe it doesn't look like it to some, but that body is filled with inflammation. My mind feels like it is drunk and I am struggling to stay focused. I have spent the past three days talking myself out of intense panic attacks. But for some reason my mind does not care what I have to say and has nearly careened me off a mental cliff. Thank God for my herbal supplements as they are the reason I was able to get the attacks under control.

Those who have not experienced these ailments, will not understand the magnitude they have over a person's mind. The doom and gloom is ferocious; gnawing unmerciful at our thoughts.

And the pain... the burning agony that radiates against my
ribs and shoulder blades. Some days it's unbearable. I can't wait to rid myself of these toxic bags.  

Talking to a friend about my symptoms, she asked if I ever had Mono.

Yes, yes I have. When I was eighteen years old. First semester of college.

Her response, look up EBV symptoms.

Epstein-Barr Virus. I had looked at it a few weeks ago, but wrote it off. I had Mono. I recovered. Twenty-four years later, what does that have to do with my current ailments. Well, Niki, it has everything to do with what you're going through.

Once more, I needed a nudge from someone else to steer me in the best direction.

Now I have a small, itty-bitty plan to help me make it through these next few months until I have my surgery. I have good friends. Correction. I have intelligent, amazing, wonderful friends. I am blessed to have them all in my life.

I will update you with the results of my hopeful treatment.

Until next time, if you want to support in a monetary way, see below.

Amazon Author Page
Niki Livingston Website
Swag by Niki
Amazon Affiliate Store

To all of my followers, fans, friends and family, sending you lots of peace, love, and high vibes. 

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Mischief Night Release

Mischief Night - a 2019 Halloween Anthology
Brought to you by Royalty Writes Enterprises

Wide Link:
Amazon Link:

Featured Authors:
Alyssa Drake | Amy Cecil | Angie Martin | Ashlee Shades | Bella Emy | C.A. King, | Carol Cassada | Erin Lee | Jade Royal | Jeremy Simons | Leah Negron | Lorah Jaiyn | Natalia Schellhaas | Niki Livingston | Olivia Marie| Riley Bryant| Roux Cantrell | Virginia Johnson

All Hallow's Eve, a frightening night
When ghouls and witches promise a horrific fright
As the lights go out and you're home all alone
You reach for the phone but your heart stops at the sound of the dial tone
You jump in bed, grab a flashlight, and pull the covers over your head
Trying not to scream as visions of the undead
Cloud your brain and make you question the reality in sight
Just open the book and turn the pages of Mischief Night

In this thrilling Halloween collection by some of today's hottest authors, you'll find stories that will make you shiver and shake.
So grab a cup of hot cocoa and cuddle up in front of the fireplace while you read this brand new set just for Halloween!

πŸ‘»Wrong Side of the MirrorπŸ‘»

The idea for this story came to me after a vacation to Estes Park, Colorado. I took my kids on the ghost tour of the Stanley Hotel (the hotel where Stephen King concocted his story The Shining) and was super impressed with the tour guide and the history of the hotel. From there, the tale of Carissa and her ghostly visitor began to unfold.

A haunted hotel and a night ghost tour seemed like a simple and laid-back adventure for Carissa. Especially if she was able to spend a few extra days with her best friend Ashley. But when Carissa is confronted by a flickering image of a dark-haired woman, her disbelief in ghosts quickly shattered to pieces.
Wanting to save their fun from ending, Ashley concocted a reckless idea to banish the entity, not realizing she was instead opening a portal to the horrors of their nightmares.


Thursday, October 10, 2019

Facing What I Wanted To Bury

"Self-care is how you take your power back." - Lalah Delia

It was August 31st, 2019 when my life veered in a direction this Capricorn had not planned for 😱 I picked up my phone and stared at the text that glared back at me. It was from someone very close to me. Someone who knows me better than most. Reading the text sent my mind in a tailspin. I was floored. And terrified. What had I done to myself? How could I have been so selfish?

I sobbed for two days straight as I researched and read case after case of women who were experiencing similar ailments as myself. I was relieved, but devastated at the same time. Relieved because I finally knew why I was so sick, and devastated because I did this to myself. It was as if I had sucker punched myself in the stomach.

Now, it's time to face my past mistakes head-on, because ignoring them will no longer work.

Revealing raw, vulnerable emotion and personal ailments to the world is terrifying. Plain and simple. I have struggled with this post for several weeks and even as I type I'm second-guessing myself. And the funny thing is, I don't know why. Most people are good, supportive, loving human beings.

After several self-lectures and private rants, I'm finally writing it all down. Are you ready for this? I know I'm not, but I made a promise to reveal my troubles and more than that, I realize it's important to bring awareness to others. If I can convince one person to stay far away from making the same mistake, then I have succeeded. It is NOT worth it. What I am experiencing is mild compared to so many others. So here goes...

I have nearly every symptom of Breast Implant Illness.

Yes, it's a thing. And many doctors and surgeons not only recognize it, but they are advocates for those whose voices are being drowned out by the many more doctors and surgeons who do not believe there is such a thing. Which baffles me, because a group of over 97,000 women and growing everyday, who share similar or the exact same symptoms would be a strong indication to any intelligent human that this is going to blow up in the world's face. It's only a matter of time. And if I was in the medical field, I would want to be at the forefront of this explosion.

In fact, it was just recently discussed on The Doctors - What is Breast Implant Illness?

And then there is this article - Breast Implant Illness -

Most importantly, regardless of what anyone else believes or says, I know my body. And it's suffering. All because I chose to have foreign objects placed inside it. My symptoms are too similar to thousands of other women's and anyone would be a fool to dismiss the ginormous possibility that breast implants are slowly poisoning women with their toxic components.

My story begins in the Spring of 2006 when I had saline implants, with a silicone shell, implanted under the muscle. Before the implants I never had any of these following ailments plague my body, aside from a mild case of anxiety that rarely gave me any issues. I was full of energy and motivation, living life to the fullest in every now moment. I look back on that woman and wonder why she felt like she wasn't complete. It took thirteen years of watching myself slowly deteriorate to see my value. I was already beautiful and whole just the way I was.
These ailments have been plaguing me for several years now and they are only increasing in intensity and duration. The medical experts I visited in the beginning were stumped by this first wave.
  • Panic attacks
  • Intense anxiety - my mild anxiety shot through the roof
  • Chest pains
  • Difficult to breathe/shortness of breath
  • Numb/tingling hands, face, and neck
  • Heart palpitations 
  • Sudden increase in heart rate
  • Rapid weight gain
***Side note - I was admitted into the hospital for Pulmonary Embolism shortly before these symptoms began firing their attacks on me. I was prescribed Coumadin for six months. The symptoms that disappeared after detoxing from this medication, I have excluded from this list.  However, they did return with a vengeance about six years ago.
  • Primary doctor (visited on multiple occasions) - In 2006 she diagnosed me with Panic Disorder and prescribed a daily dose of Xanax (no longer taking)
  • Cardiologist in 2007 - Tests came back normal. Was told that the numbness was probably stemming from a slight case of scoliosis in my mid-back. Hence the next step...
  • Chiropractor in 2007-2008 - Treated for just under a year, but symptoms persisted.
  • Neurologist in 2008 - Tests came back normal.
  • Physical Therapist 2008 - Treated for over a year, but symptoms persisted.

Then, at the end of 2008 I found out I was pregnant. That became my main focus. It was by far my most difficult pregnancy but I attributed that to being the ripe old age of thirty-two, instead of twenty-four (previous pregnancy).

My body swelled like a blow-fish and I retained water as if I was a camel on a long voyage through the Sahara Desert. I was mortified. Even my neighbor so boldly stated, after I told him I was due in a month, "It's a good thing, because you're getting huge." He chuckled and I had a vicious Allie McBeal moment that was slightly subdued when his wife punched him in the arm.

The weight did come off after a couple of years, with an extremely healthy diet of no sugar and processed foods, as well as 6-7 days a week of intense workout.

Then 2013 rolled around.

All the above symptoms were still a problem, aside from heart palpitations and the weight gain.

And then these additional symptoms began to rear their ugly and nauseating heads. At first the occurrences came and went and they were easy to ignore, but as the years rolled by they have become exhausting. To the point that some days I don't want to face life. At all.
  • Depression
  • Rashes
  • Eczema
  • Severe dry eyes
  • Severe dry skin/face
  • Hair loss
  • Nausea
  • Migraines/Intense headaches
  • Excessive sweating
  • Swelling in hands, feet, and face (new one happened just the other day - swelling ankles)
  • Joint pain - some days it is unbearable, but walking and yoga help
  • Brain fog - it's becoming worse every day
  • Difficulty swallowing
  • Metallic taste in mouth
  • Pain on left side of chest and under the implants
  • Asthma
  • Difficulty taking a full breath
  • Exhaustion/never enough sleep
  • TMJ
  • Neck/Shoulder/Back pain
  • Allergies intensified
  • Heart palpitations returned
  • Weight gain returned
  • Ear ringing
For the past two years all of the above symptoms (earlier and later) have become unbearable. I was beginning to think I was dying. Nearly every day I am battling most, if not all, and I am tired, frustrated and disgusted with myself for not being able to keep up with my life any more. I honestly believe that the only reason I have been able to hold off the onslaught of issues is because of my healthy lifestyle. But even that isn't helping any more.

For example, a day last year I drove myself to the ER one day terrified I was having a heart attack. When I gave the ER doctor my long list of ailments, he said, "Fascinating. I would love if you would stay so we can run more tests on you and possibly catch another panic episode in action."

It was far from fascinating to me. It was frightening. I had several vials of blood drawn. And as always, every test came back normal. My thyroid, my hormones, my blood sugar, everything. And my heart was in perfect condition.

I would have never guessed what was causing me all those health problems! Not in a million of years.

My breast implants were slowly poisoning me.

And now, getting them out is my main focus. I am putting every extra dime into a savings account so I can pay the thousands of dollars to explant. It won't be cheap and it won't be easy, but I cannot wait to get my life back. I cannot wait to take that full breath again. To enjoy food without a metallic taste dulling it.  To go a week without nausea and headaches overruling my days. To not feel exhausted the moment I wake up and forcing myself to make it through each and every day. To not fear the panic attacks that are teetering on the edge of my mind. I CANNOT wait.

If you want to help me along this journey, I have lots of BOOKS to sell! Share with your friends and family. Spread the word. I am not asking for charity. Just that if you love to read or know someone who does, take a dive into one of my books and support me with the money I earn from your purchase. Below are links to my books and swag, along with my Amazon Affiliate store. I only earn a tiny percentage, but every penny counts, so if you're going to buy, please do it through me.


Amazon Author Page
Niki Livingston Website
Swag by Niki
Amazon Affiliate Store

I am determined to have these toxic bags removed within the next six months. The earlier the better. And there will be more to say as I stumble down this new path of mine. I really hope you stick around.

As for forgiving myself for my unwise choice, it's a work in process, BUT I am finally seeing the lessons for what they are and have come to peace with where this path has led me. On my bad days, when my body feels like its falling apart, I still get upset with myself. It can be unbearable. Thankfully, my self-love is slowly rising to the top and I am taking the long, deep breaths to soothe my grief. 

Above all else, if you know of someone or you are someone who has breast implants and you or them are dealing with the same ailments, educate one another. And if you are contemplating putting these toxic and poisonous bags in your body, I hope you don't. I strongly urge you to reconsider and do the research. You are perfect just the way you are. Take up yoga and meditation, and find the beauty you already possess.

That's my sage advice for today.

Until next time, my friends. Peace, love, and high vibes.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Manifestation Requires Action

The first time I heard about the Law of Attraction I was baffled by this belief. I honestly felt it meant you could just sit on your couch and tell the universe what you wanted and eventually it would appear. At that time, it seemed like a bizarre and far-fetched philosophy.

Now, years later, I have seen first hand what it truly means.

Manifestation of any kind requires action on our part.

The harder I work and give to the world, the more the universe provides for my life. It does not mean I have to work myself into my grave, but it does mean I cannot sit back and ask for abundance to arrive into my space without giving anything in return.

Becoming an author was a lifelong dream of mine. When the time arrived for me to choose if I really wanted this life, it was not a matter of HOW I would make it happen; all that was necessary is that I take that first step. From there, pieces of the puzzle fell into place, as long as I kept going. There was not the option to just wait for editors, graphic designers, book bloggers, etc to come to me. My one requirement from the universe is that I continued to take the steps as they arrived before me and not worry about when the next one would present itself.

Because when I did stress about the HOW and the next step, I fell back, repeating my old habits of self-doubt and negativity. Trusting this process will continue to occur is by far one of my most challenging beliefs, even after witnessing its truth. Despite my failures and moments of faltering, it is still what I circle back to time and time again, because it works.

As I press forward with the knowledge I do possess, more opportunities and lessons present themselves. Over and over again. My growth is unstoppable as long as I keep the faith.

THIS is the Law of Attraction. Taking action toward what I desire my life to be and allowing the universe to provide each step as they are needed.

And being grateful as those moments arrive.

What steps have you taken to create your magical life?

Monday, May 6, 2019

Before It Became Complicated

Life is a grand scheme. It hurdles you into the mix of other humans, kicks you from every angle, and then leaves you to die wondering if you completed all that you came here to accomplish. Or does it?

Looking back on my life, I see a trend in the perception of my journey.

Do you have a similar tendency?  Read on to understand what I mean. If not, what do your memories tell you?

It seems I have nearly always believed where I am, in the present moment, is by far the most complicated part of my existence.

But the truth is, my memories betray me, giving me a false sense of security in my past.

Then today arrived.

My eighteen year old son is on his way to Long Island, New York, leaving Utah three nights ago. As I watch him on the GPS tracker, I am in awe in the ability to keep track of his progress and watch him drive across country at such a young age. I live in a day and age where technology has grown leaps and bounds. And because of the technology advancements, I am able to follow my son as he leaves his home state, on his own, for the first time ever.

And despite all the assurances of this technology, I still felt it was much easier when he was safe at home.

Then, my mind traveled back to a year ago, and I realized I had felt the same way. It was much easier when he was thirteen, still needing my help and support. But even at thirteen, I felt it had been a cake walk when he was only nine and loved spending time with me. And at nine, well, raising a young boy of six gave me more security for his safety then it did when he was becoming more independent at eight.

And the years went back, until the beginning of his life.

When I think of my children, or my finances, or just life in general, I can always find a time I thought was easier. Until it really wasn't.

The truth...

Life has always been complicated.

Yesterday was stressful, a week ago was chaotic, last year I had a massive panic attack, five years in the past I came to accept my seasonal depression, eight years ago I had a faith crisis, it's been nearly ten years since I lost my mom, twenty years ago I became a new mom, battling a drug-addict husband, twenty-five years ago I discovered I was being stabbed in the back by close friends, and the girl who bullied me in elementary school was just beginning to leave me alone thirty years in the past.

And the list continues, weaving in and out of all the days, months, and years of my life.

But the beauty of it all is that I am so very grateful for every moment of my life.

All that I've been through has brought me to a present time where I am more fulfilled in all areas of my life then I have ever been before.

I see the unbound wonders of the world.

I have witnessed phenomenal moments where my heart has soared and my soul has rejoiced.

My heart has opened to more people then I can ever remember, and in doing so, they have each left their imprint there.

I am moving on to a new phase in my life. One where my two oldest children are on their own, participating in their own adventures in the world, while my two younger children are beginning to learn who they want to be and why it isn't important to decide today. And us adults are improving our home, adopting a new fur baby, working to be better leaders in our job roles, and hustling harder on our side projects and passions.

Life will always be complicated. Some of these moments we bring upon ourselves, and others are thrown at us, and in those breaths of change we have the opportunity to choose how we will respond.

Life is not happening to us. It is happening FOR us. And with gratitude in my heart and a gentle reminder of how far I have come, my perspective shifts and I rise to a higher frequency.