Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Month 3 - Personal growth

I have been horrible about getting this post going for month 3.  It has been a trying month and I have so much I would like to write, but due to my circumstances I have to keep my life pretty vague for now.  Major changes in my life are occurring and because of these changes my thoughts and actions have been wrapped up in them.  Once things have settled down more I will definitely post these changes on the blog.  Until then I have to be quiet about them.

This month (April) I wanted to dedicate the whole month to my book.  I began writing a book last spring with ideas and rough writing for the whole year before that.  I have been so excited about it and I am over half way done. 

Back in September I began working full-time again.  And November through January my boss was on maternity leave so I was doing her job and my job.  It was extremely chaotic, fun and stressful all at the same time.  I had to put my book on hold for the majority of that time. 

Then in January some things began to happen in my personal life... but I cannot say more than that at this time.  I believe in my previous post I divulged more, so if you are really curious go back and read that one.  Although, it is fairly vague as well! 

Therefore, my book has been placed on the back burner for a good long time.  My goal this month was to  jump back into writing and give it my full attention.  Did not happen.  I have given it some thought and I have had ideas flowing, but as for sitting down and actually doing it, that did not happen.

I want to still get moving on my book and still plan on doing that this month.  However, this month is going to be for my personal growth. 

I have done some major de-cluttering of my mind, thoughts and emotions.  I am going to finish this month by taking ownership of myself.  As these major changes take more form and become a part of me as a person, I deserve to be present for every moment and keep myself centered and balanced.  I realize now how important this is for me and my future. 

This kind of says it all for me.  It's never too late...  I am moving forward and finding the strength as I go to continue on.  Even when I feel like the rug is being pulled out from underneath me, I am pushing forward and leaping where necessary. 

I am the only person who gets to live my life and if I continue to live a life of pretend, just to make others happy, the people who really matter will never know the true and authentic person inside me. 

This month is dedicated to my growth.  Whatever that looks like, we will see.  I am not worried about it as long as I follow my God and my inner knowing. 

I will no longer be the person who is a follower.  I will no longer be the person who second guesses my God given intuition.  I will no longer be dead inside.  I will live as a powerful being who God created to do amazing things.  I will own who I am and be the person I know inside. 

No one will stop me from being me ever again.
I will get back to my book and I will finish it.  It will not be this month, but I am hoping I can give it my full attention starting in May. 

Please be patient as I go through these major transitions in my life.  I will be disclosing them when the time is right and I will continue to update this blog as I have time.  This is more for my own spiritual, emotional and mental growth and I understand if no one really cares.  But I still want to continue on with my happiness project and see it to the end. 

I appreciate the ones who do support me in my journey and I love all of you who will remain my friend even when I am no longer a part of the fold.  God be with all of you!  Namaste.

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