It's All In My Head

It's closing in.

Honestly, I believed this was a step in my life I could avoid. A distant reality, never to come to pass.

But here I am, hurtling along, unable to halt the inevitable.

Four decades on this Earth 🙊

Seriously.  What happened to the time?

Twenty years ago, I was attending classes up at Utah State University, working two jobs and spending my time off being a rowdy college student with my roommates and friends.  It seems like it was just yesterday.  Until I remember what really happened yesterday.  Nope my two children crucified that memory.  Shot it right between the eyes.

Fifteen years ago, I was a young mother of two, exhausted from my long days and never ending nights.  Not to mention, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing.  I still look back to those days and wonder how we all survived.

Ten years ago, I was finishing up the last year of my bachelor's degree, juggling two young children and all their overkill of homework and activities, as well as working full-time.  It's no wonder my hair began to fall out shortly after graduation 😁 And yes, those are VHS videos behind me.  Shhhh...

Five years ago, I made a leap of faith.  I chose to stop sitting on the sidelines and rose up like a fierce lioness, never looking back on the life that I left.  I found my voice and owned my life.  Tower of Terror, baby.

What will the big 4-0 bring me?

I do know this...

  • I still feel like I'm 20.  Until I'm around 20 year-old's and then... well then I feel ancient.
  • The older I become, the less I care what others think of me. Although there are those split second moments where I think, "oh no, what will they think of me?", but it's quickly followed by, "who the fuck cares what they think of me."
  • Life rarely goes as planned.  In fact, life is a bitch with an axe and a bottle of tequila.  Hold the lime.  She uses that to drip into our wounds, followed by the salt of our existence.
  • Life is also like "a box of chocolates".  Same philosophy as above, just better tasting and far more exciting 😚
  • I'm not the same person I was twenty years ago.  I'm not even the same person I was five years ago.  I hear that's a good thing.  Always growing and evolving, becoming a better person and taking the lessons I have learned so far and applying them to my life.
  • Giving is better than receiving.
Being in the last month of my 30s feels bizarre, although yes... I realize it's all in my head.  My journey as an author has taught me the value of support and friendship to those who are working their ass off to be the best they can be in this life.  That being said, my sprint towards my 40s has to be done in style.

If you are an artist of any kind, writer, photographer, sculptor, painter, musician, etc. I would LOVE to support you on your path, while releasing the last days of my 30s out into the universe.  Every single day for the next 31 days, I will purchase a creation by an artist.  As well, over the course of 2017 I will choose a day to highlight that piece of art on my blog and all my social media.

If you are interested in having one of your books, albums/songs, paintings or any piece of art featured by me, please leave a message in the comments below with a link to your website and place to purchase.  If it is something I know I would enjoy, I'll contact you and will purchase the item within the next month.  If it is not something I would be interested in, but you commented and it is appropriate for my readers and followers, I will share it on all my social media.

Let's make this fun.  Spread the love and may Theia's light shine favorably upon you 🌚🌏🌄

And as always, check out my books 😘


  1. What is the saying "youth is wasted on the young"? I try to be a realist in all things...except my age.
    You're blog is intense, the Tony Robbins piece was brutally honest. Powerful words Niki.


    1. Erick, I am interested in buying more of your artwork! Let's chat!

  2. Reading this blog is like looking in a virtual mirror. Your words resonate so deeply with me, because it is exactly how I feel...and I'm 41!! Oh Niki ~ you are an incredible woman with an incredible gift! I adore you more than you know ~

    1. Hugs Courtney! I am so thankful for our friendship :)

  3. Hi Niki. What an inspiring post! I have recently published a modern fantasy entitled LIGHT IN MY DARK. It can be found on Amazon here: as well as B&N, Kobo and iTunes. My website is and I can't wait to support you as well, my fellow writer, on their journey.

    1. Love it! And thank you! I will let you know when I post your review and then later when I feature your book on my blog :)

  4. And my book is for purchase on Amazon. Thank you so very much! I think it may be the exact wild ride that you need to disappear into right now. I hope you enjoy it:) Have a wonderful evening:) And thx for any future reviews too!!! I think it's a brilliant idea to check out all the art you can. Super cool idea!
    -T.C. Collins @tccollins1 Instagram *

  5. My first ever book at age 43. Just published it 2 weeks ago. it's called Infectus Phytor. Available through or Thank You

    1. Fantastic Kurt! I just purchased it. I will let you know when I post your review and then feature you on my blog!


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