Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Choosing to Walk Away

#TuesdayThoughts
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water. -Miguel de Cervantes
Anyone who has been the victim of a rumor knows what it like to be on the defense, allowing feelings of being attacked to rise to the surface, causing self-doubt and fear to take hold of our actions and thoughts.

This past week I witnessed a friend of mine be cyber-bullied by a group of writers on the Internet. I don't know who they are or what they write, but they were intent on ripping her to shreds over something they considered to be a violation and/or scam.  Here's the kicker... they didn't ask what her intentions were, nor did they speak to her privately.  They immediately jumped onto a violent bandwagon, determined to tie her up and drag her, ripping and roaring, through the muddy pages of the World Wide Web.

I was one of many friends who jumped to her defense, but no matter what was said, this particular group was determined to hang her.  I was on my way home from my vacation in California, when I read a couple of replies to what I had said.  I don't have the exact words, as I refuse to return to that blog, but here is a paraphrase of what I said:
This post is inaccurate and full of lies. As a writer, you should be ashamed of yourself for spreading rumors.
Short and sweet was my mistake.  I should have been more detailed in my meaning.  I should have said, "Hey asswipe, you are making accusations towards a person you don't even know, nor have you made any attempt to find out if they are true. They are based on opinion only and you have no proof that she is a scammer, therefore your blog post is an act of harassment and cyber-bullying.  Get off your high horse and research your claims, before spouting off inaccurate accusations."

I forced myself to not respond right away.  I knew if I did, it would be out of emotion and not a cool, calm and collected reply.  I reclined my seat and closed my eyes, allowing myself to relax enough that I finally fell asleep.  It was a quick nap, maybe fifteen minutes, but right before I woke I heard a loud voice say, "You will not change their minds. Let it go." The voice startled me awake and I sat in silence thinking of those words. "Let it go."

Ughhh!  I didn't want to let it go.  I wanted to fight back.  I wanted to tell these idiots they were wrong and had no right to say these cruel things.  Why was my mind telling me to stop!

It's funny, because this has happened before... that voice.  And it is right, Every. Single. Time.

I listened.  Reluctantly.

I wasn't going to change their minds.  I would say my tidbit, and they would come back with some foul response, and my emotions would skyrocket and the cycle would continue.  These people enjoy rattling people.  They are the kinds of folks who enjoy stirring the pot and seeing what passionate people come flying out of the fire.  As I pondered about this, I decided it was best that I "let it go."

My friend will be okay.  She's strong, talented, and one of the most friendly and giving people that I know.  She's going to rise, while her bullies will continue to be bitter, reflecting onto others their own pain and misery.  It was never about what she did.  It was always about their own insecurities.
The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become. -Mandy Hale

***DISCLAIMER***
I don't know if anyone else besides her friends came to the conclusion that this person's blog post was false information, after I read it two days ago.  If they did, I hope they stood up for the one being bullied.

Also, the points in the blog post to identify a scammer were fairly accurate.  The writer did a fine job of pointing those out.  The part that was incorrect was the lies about my friend.  They used her name to make a point, without finding out if their claims were true.  That is why the blog post is inaccurate. If they wanted to make a bullet point list for identifying a scammer without defamation, I would be completely on board with what they wrote.

Lastly, what she did was not a scam.  Not even close.  It was merely a misunderstanding that could have been resolved behind the scenes.
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water. Miguel de Cervantes
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rise_above.html
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rise_above.html
Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rise_above.html

2 comments:

  1. Well I have myself been in this situation in the past few days, a situation, some messages were wrongly reported leaving me to be the latest topic of conversation and I saw some comments of which one said the c*** needs a slap with a shovel.
    I guess many people rise above this social media problem but alas I way over think everything and I handle stress badly.

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    Replies
    1. I can understand how difficult that would be to walk away from that kind of comment. It is sickening to think these bullies find it okay to trash someone else, and not care what the ripple effect will be from their words. As a person who has been in a similar situation, I'm sorry you had this happen to you. It definitely takes practice and a clear head to walk away... I'm not an expert at it, and seeing my friend experience it was not easy. But I know it can be done. I hope you find solace in my words, or at the very least empowerment to know it's possible.

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