He Loves Me

Dear Diary ~

I was three when the universe ripped him away from me. A child, innocent, ignorant, and heartbroken. How could a God take my favorite person away from me. And on Christmas day of all days. That’s a cruel deity, if you ask me.

The dream… it brought me comfort, and has never been erased from my mind, but to this day I miss him. He was my calm, my solace, and my best friend. He bounced me on his knee and then snuggled and kissed me afterwards, making me feel safe and loved in a family where I was so often forgotten.

I think of the dream the angels sent me… or was that him, coming to me in a way I would understand? Lava? Why would he allow himself to sink into lava right before my eyes? He did say that he loves me… But then he was gone and I was left petrified in place, clutching the doorknob and knowing I couldn’t save him. Those three words continue to tear at my heart, over and over again, year after year.

He loves me.

Then why did he leave me alone.

I was only three. And even now, so many years later, I still don’t understand. And to the day, I miss his laughter that rang happily into my ears and his gigantic smile, lighting up my world. He was my protector, my angel before death…

He was my grandpa. And I will never forget.


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