Tuesday, May 2, 2017

How I Destroyed Myself

In order to save myself I must destroy first, the me I was told to be. - The Dreamer
To be honest, it didn't take a whole lot of effort to destroy myself.  In fact, I'm fairly certain 87% of it occurred while I wasted my time watching television shows and eating junk food.  Not much effort at all.

Sure, I made excuses.
  • I've been working all day.
  • I worked out twice already this week, that's enough for now.
  • I ate a salad for lunch.
I had plenty of reasons why I could take several breaks and be lazy all weekend long.  Yes, I wrote a book or two, but I'm not where I want to be and I KNOW I can do better.

So... I'm reinventing myself.

I'm tearing down walls and stripping away the studs.  It's been a long time coming and I've procrastinated for as long as I possibly could.  But guess what?  I'm not really happy.  I have been falling and slamming into roadblocks at every turn.  And it felt like nothing was going my way. 

I have the means and the ability to shift my path and for that I am grateful.  It might take some extra work and long hours, but in the end it will be worth it.

When life begins destroying you in small, subtle ways, creating a space where you are no longer fulfilled, happy or content, it's the universes way of telling you to make a change.  I was already destroying myself by allowing myself to lose sight of goals and plans, but now I'm actually building on that destruction and going inward.

It's time I rise to the next level.

It's time I stop focusing on what I can't change, and steer my sailboat into a much smoother voyage. I desperately deserve a break from the crashing waves.

This is my month.  My "ME" project.  Because when I'm my best self, I'm the best for everyone else.  I don't have it all figured out, but I'm working on it and I plan on having a new perspective, a new foundation, and a fresh mindset by the end of this month.

Love and hugs from me!


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